Sirius's Secret Love
by HipHopStar1987
Summary: James wants only one thing and it's not Lily. What is it...More importantly, who is it?


"Oy! James!" shouted Sirius Black from across the crowded halls, hoping to catch the attention of his best friend.  
  
"Oy! Sirius!" James shouted back at him, his voice full of sarcasm.  
  
"How are you James?" Sirius asked, even though they were in the same house and they had seen each other just minutes before.  
  
"I'm fine, Padfoot, and yourself?" James asked politely making mock conversation with his best friend.  
  
"Fine, Prongs, absolutely fine. This morning has been pretty quiet, no trouble to speak of whatsoever."  
  
"I know, it's a bit depressing actually, don't you think Sirius?"  
  
"I absolutely agree with you James. I'm in the mood to cause some trouble myself. Why don't we get Moony to help us?"  
  
"Sounds like a good idea to me," said James, wondering what Sirius had in store for them today.  
  
"Speaking of Moony," Padfoot started..."Where is that boy? I haven't seen him since the last class we had together."  
  
"Probably out with some girl no doubt," James said with a smirk on his face.  
  
James and Sirius were looking around the now not so crowded halls as they looked for their best friend.  
  
They found him going up the changing stair cases and it looked like he was heading back to the Gryffindor Common Room.  
  
"Oy! Lupin!" James and Sirius both shouted at the stair cases, causing bewildered looks on the students that were around them.  
  
Remus looked over at his two best friends who were standing at the foot of the stairs.  
  
"Where are you off to?" James asked Remus questioningly.  
  
"Just upstairs, to be by myself, unless you and Padfoot here have other plans you would like to include me in."  
  
"As a matter of fact, Moony, we do have plans...well, actually, Padfoot here has plans for us, that I don't know of.  
  
Why are you acting so sulky, what's the matter? Did you and some girl have a row and she dumped you?"  
  
"How do you know me so well Prongs? How?" said Moony with a look of deep appreciation for his best friend.  
  
"Moony, We're you best friends, it's up to us to know how you feel, and when you're not yourself to make you feel better."  
  
"I s'pose so James. I'm always in awe that you know exactly what to say sometimes."  
  
James blushed slightly, he did have a gift for knowing what to say at the right time.  
  
"Okay, I hate to break up this warm and fuzzy moment, but if we're going to go through with our plans, we need to do them now.  
  
It's just a few minutes until our free break, so we need to act now, if you still want to have time to talk...unless of course  
  
you want to spend our free period helping Peeves cause some major mayhem...which wouldn't be a bad idea."  
  
"Sorry Padfoot, we forgot about that. We got caught up in the whole friendship thing" James said smirking.  
  
"I've noticed. Now let's get to doing what we came here to do," Padfoot said with a mix of anger and amusement in his voice.  
  
Moony climbed back down the stairs to meet James and Sirius, eager to find out what Sirius had in mind.  
  
"Remember," Moony started. "I am a prefect, so nothing too wild, alright? Or I'll have to give you both detentions."  
  
"Yea, yea, alright, whatever you say Moony. Whatever you say," James and Sirius said at the same time exchanging amused glances.  
  
The three of them were walking down the 3rd floor corridor, trying to see if they could cause any mayhem.  
  
Nothing seemed to amuse them, so they thought they would head downstairs and go out the front doors and spend their time on the lawn in the sunshine.  
  
They were heading towards the Great Hall, and they took a right, pushed the doors open, and headed out onto the sunny grounds.  
  
It was a hot summers day, and they were walking across the lawn where they saw a couple of girls sitting by the lake.  
  
Some of the girls were swimming in the lake accompanied by the Giant Squid.  
  
The term was drawing to a close, and the three of them (Mainly James and Sirius) thought that they needed to make an impression on the Hogwarts students that everyone would remember.  
  
They were leaving that year.  
  
They had no choice.  
  
Though they would love to stay, they couldn't.  
  
They finished their 7th year at Hogwarts, and they were proud of it.  
  
They had caused more mayhem in the history of that place, than anyone else had ever done.  
  
James was looking over at the girls by the lake.  
  
There he saw his one true love...Lily.  
  
He loved Lily with all his heart, but Lily despised James because he kept making fun of "Snivellus."  
  
He had to admit, he liked Lily enough to stop teasing Severus.  
  
He knew that he would try to stop, but if Severus tried anything, James wouldn't sit and take it.  
  
He would fight back.  
  
James knew he had to make his move now.  
  
In another couple of days he wouldn't have another chance.  
  
"It's now or never," James thought to himself.  
  
"JAMES POTTER!" Sirius and Remus both shouted at him.  
  
James seemed to have let his mind drift off, and the both of them had been trying to get his attention for the longest time.  
  
"Sorry," James muttered.  
  
His mind was clearly somewhere else.  
  
Sirius found himself thinking about how James could be so out of it sometimes.  
  
Padfoot looked over at Moony, and by the looks of it, Sirius knew that Remus was thinking the exact same thing.  
  
"I got to go," James said abruptly.  
  
"Go? Go where?" Sirius and Remus demanded  
  
"I have to go, I can't tell you where," James said, and stood up and continued on his way.  
  
Lupin and Sirius were watching James as he walked over to the lake and it looked like he tapped a girl on the shoulder.  
  
"Oy, Lupin," Sirius started. "D'you think that James is going to make his move? The girl he tapped on the shoulder was Lily."  
  
"I don't know," was Lupin's reply.  
  
"It's about time that that love-sick puppy did something about that girl!"  
  
"I totally agree with you Lupin, but I don't think that Lily will go for his act. She doesn't like him...If I didn't know better, I think she likes Snivellus.  
  
She's always standing up for him, even though Snape doesn't want her help. He thinks he can handle James all by himself."  
  
"True, Sirius my friend, very true. But you know how suave James can be with the ladies. She'll go for it, every other girl has."  
  
"Well, Lupin, Lily isn't just an ordinary girl. She has class, and she knows what she wants. So we'll just have to wait and see if what she wants is James."  
  
"yea, I guess."  
  
"Look over there Sirius, James is smooth talking Lily. It just might work..."  
  
"That little Devil!" was Sirius's reply.  
  
They were still watching James and Lily when Lupin and Sirius both saw it with their own eyes.  
  
James and Lily were walking back up to the castle hand in hand.  
  
"I don't believe it. Do my eyes deceive me Lupin?"  
  
"No Sirius, they don't. I told you that James could be a smooth talker when he wants to be."  
  
"I guess Lily did fall for it, I thought she wouldn't."  
  
"It's great though, isn't it Sirius? They're so cute together."  
  
"Yea...I, well, yea...I guess so."  
  
"What was up with that answer Sirius? Is there something that you're not telling me?"  
  
"No...well...ummm...not really...no."  
  
"C'Mon Sirius, we've been best friends for how long now? You can tell me anything, you should know that by now."  
  
"I know, but I just, I don't know how to say this."  
  
"Say what Sirius? Spit it out! I know I'm going to find out sooner or later. And you better pray it be sooner for your sake."  
  
"Okay, well you're going to think I'm crazy, but I don't want James to go out with Lily."  
  
"WHAT?! Why not? They make the cutest couple in the world!"  
  
"They may make the cutest couple Lupin, but I just don't think, no...I don't want James going out with her."  
  
"Oh My God," Lupin came to a sudden realization.  
  
"You don't want James to go out with Lily because you love him!"  
  
"Shhhh Lupin, God, I don't need the whole school knowing."  
  
"When did this happen?"  
  
"Ever since we became friends in our first year of Hogwarts together."  
  
"Dear Lord, Sirius, you aren't joking."  
  
"No Remus, I wouldn't joke about this. This has been torturing me for the longest time, because I knew that James only had eyes for Lily."  
  
"But...I...I never thought...what are you going to do about this Sirius?"  
  
"That just it, Moony, I don't know what to do, if anything."  
  
"I think that you should at least tell James about this. The worst he can do is still go out with Lily."  
  
"He won't accept me, he wouldn't have the heart. He's been chasing Lily for the longest time, and this is his chance to ask her out.  
  
He wouldn't pass that up."  
  
"Maybe, maybe not Padfoot, you never know until you try."  
  
"That's true Lupin, but I'm scared, I don't want to get rejected."  
  
"Sirius, I highly doubt that James will reject you. He will tell you how he feels, you never know, he might just feel the same way.  
  
He might not act upon it, because maybe he thinks that you're too good for him, so he went off to chase Lily."  
  
"Tell you what Sirius, go find James, and I'll come with you so I'll be there to help you talk to him."  
  
"But what do I say to him Lupin? 'Hi James, I don't want you to go out with Lily, because I've loved you ever since I've met you?'  
  
Right, that would be a pleasant visit with him. He'd be like Sirius, 'you sick fuck,' and he would leave me standing there."  
  
"No, Sirius, he wouldn't. You know James, probably better than I do. He wouldn't leave you standing there.  
  
He likes messing with people's minds, but he can be serious and straightforward when he wants to be. You know that!"  
  
"I know that. But he wouldn't care."  
  
"I've had enough of your whining. I'm sick of this. I knew something was up, and now that I know what it is, I'm not letting this go unsettled."  
  
"It's my problem, not yours Lupin."  
  
"You're my friend, therefore it is my problem. I'm involved now, and I can't just leave you here by yourself. Get up Sirius."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Don't question me and just do what I say, will you please?"  
  
"Listen, I know your my friend, and I know you have the best of intentions, but this isn't going to work."  
  
"Fuck that. It will work, you know why?"  
  
"Why?" Sirius asked with a little too much curiosity.  
  
"It'll work because I said so."  
  
"Not like you have that power over things Lupin."  
  
"Damn straight I have that power. And damn straight things are going to work out, and to your advantage no less."  
  
"Lupin..." Sirius whined.  
  
"I'm sick of this!!" was Lupin's only comment.  
  
He took Sirius up by his collar, forcing him to his feet. Sirius didn't want to move, so Lupin was going to have to make him.  
  
Lupin still grabbing Sirius' collar was forcing his way with his friend in his grasp up to the Hogwart's Castle.  
  
"Just leave me alone Lupin!!" Sirius shouted even though it didn't do much good because Lupin was still dragging him.  
  
"NO!! This will not go unresolved."  
  
Before he knew it, Sirius was being dragged along Lupin who's hand was on Sirius' collar. He was not going to let go, he had a very firm grip on Padfoot's collar.  
  
Sirius was being dragged up 7 flights of stairs to the Gryffindor Common Room where they were sure that James would be. He always was.  
  
They finally got up to the Fat Lady in the Pink Dress. "Password?" she asked sternly.  
  
Lupin, who had had enough interruptions and had to get on with what he was doing just gave the Fat Lady a look that could kill.  
  
She backed away scared, and fled to her friend Violet's portrait.  
  
"I'm afraid of that Remus Lupin," they could hear her whining to Violet.  
  
"Inside. NOW!!"  
  
Sirius knew better than to mess with Lupin when he was determined and had something on his mind.  
  
Sirius didn't get a chance to react to Lupin's words when he was thrown inside the common room forcefully by Lupin himself.  
  
Sirius landed hard on his ass, and sat there, just a tiny bit dazed.  
  
He never knew that Lupin could be so rough.  
  
Lupin walked into the common room, and once again grabbed Sirius by the collar and forced him to his feet.  
  
Sirius had no choice but to obey Lupin, he was a man on a mission, and there was no stopping him.  
  
Sirius and Lupin didn't have to go very far until they found James.  
  
They found James sitting in one of those big red comfy chairs by the fireplace.  
  
This scene was odd to the both of them because James wasn't laughing or joking around and having a good old time.  
  
He was sitting there with his head in his hands, and muffled sobs could be heard. James had obviously thought that no one else was in the Common Room.  
  
He obviously hadn't noticed that Sirius and Remus were standing right beside him either.  
  
"James," Remus said, and stopped.  
  
James looked up at the voice he had just heard, and found that Sirius and Lupin were standing beside him.  
  
James' eyes were bloodshot, and he looked tired.  
  
"Leave me alone," was James's only reply.  
  
"No James, there is an issue here that needs to be resolved. But first, why are you in here by yourself, and crying?  
  
I've never seen you like this. I mean, we've never seen you like this. What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing," James said and hung his head down.  
  
"Don't give me that shit James. We're you friends, we know better. We know better than to think that something isn't wrong when you say that everything's fine.  
  
We know you better than that. I didn't drag this heavy load all the way here for you to just sit there and mope.  
  
I won't allow it. You better tell me what happened right now, otherwise, I swear to God James, you will never see the end of me."  
  
"Lily rejected me," James said in a barely audible voice.  
  
"Speak up James! I can't hear you."  
  
"God Damn you Remus. Lily rejected me."  
  
"She w-what?" Remus stuttered. "I c-can't believe that. The great James has been rejected by Lily."  
  
"Shut up-I don't need this right now."  
  
"I know, I know," Remus stated and went over and patted James on the back.  
  
"Well, now that we know what's bothering you, maybe Sirius over here can fix things."  
  
"Right..." James said. "I don't think that's going to happen."  
  
"You never know said Sirius hopefully."  
  
"Now what were you babbling about when you came in here before. You said that there was an issue that needed to be resolved.  
  
What issue would this be?"  
  
"The issue..." Remus stopped. "Is between you and Sirius Black over here. I will leave you alone so you can work out this issue.  
  
I'll check on you both later, just to make sure you both are still alive. Goodbye Boys, make this talk worthwhile."  
  
"Remus!" Sirius shouted, but it was too late. Lupin had walked out the portrait and into the hallway.  
  
They could hear his footsteps echoing along the cold stone steps that he walked.  
  
They would see him later.  
  
The hope in Sirius' face faded. He didn't think he was going to be able to do this all alone. He needed Lupin there, for moral support at least.  
  
Now he was in the room with the only person he had ever loved, and he didn't know what to say.  
  
He was shy, and didn't even look at James.  
  
"Sirius?" James said. Sirius was too nervous he didn't want to look up, but he knew that he was going to have to face this one day or another.  
  
"Better now than never," Sirius thought.  
  
Sirius looked up at his love, and forced a smile.  
  
"James," said Sirius in a bit of a nervous tone, it seemed that James hadn't noticed how uncomfortable Sirius was right about then.  
  
"What is this issue we have to resolve? What is that Lupin babbling about?" James walked over and put his hand on Sirius shoulder.  
  
Sirius felt his face get flushed, and his shoulder felt like it was on fire from James' touch.  
  
Sirius shook James hand off his shoulder, and walked over to the chairs, and plopped down into one of them.  
  
James followed suit and pulled up a chair next to his best friend.  
  
"I-I." Sirius couldn't continue.  
  
"You?" James coaxed gently.  
  
"Promise me that what I say won't change our friendship, and you won't get mad at me." Sirius managed to stammer.  
  
"What could you possibly say or do to get me mad at you? We've survived 7 years together, and I've never once been mad at you. Not seriously at least."  
  
"I know how much you love Lily." Sirius looked at James and smiled.  
  
"It's over. I know how she feels about me. It's not going to change things. I accept it, and I'm moving on."  
  
"It's her loss," Sirius said quietly.  
  
"What was that Sirius?"  
  
"I just said that it was her loss that she didn't want to go out with a guy like you."  
  
"Thanks bud, you are almost as good as Lupin at knowing what to say to make me feel better."  
  
James looked at his best friend, and he didn't look so distraught anymore.  
  
"You're the best friend anyone could ever have." James said.  
  
"Thanks James. You deserve someone who will love you for who you are, not because you are some Quidditch star.  
  
You need someone who will worship you, who'll love you with all they have, and who will accept you for who you are.  
  
You need someone who will always be there for you. I hope you find that person James, really I do.  
  
Even if it's not Lily, I'm sure there's someone else out there for you. Someone's that's good enough for you.  
  
And I pray that you find that person James. It would make me so happy just to see you happy. I love seeing you happy.  
  
Lily's a fool for not wanting a guy like you. You're great, and I know that someone's out there for you."  
  
Sirius was in tears now. He couldn't continue. He couldn't tell James that he was in love with him, and had been ever since the day they first met.  
  
James caught on to what Sirius was saying, he was not angry, nor surprised at Sirius' thoughts.  
  
He knew that Sirius had feelings for him, all these years he's (James) tried to hide it, and he had been chasing Lily because he thought that Sirius was way out of his league.  
  
"How ironic," was all that James said.  
  
"What's ironic?" Sirius asked without looking at James. Now he was the one that was crying, and he couldn't help it at all.  
  
"All these years..." James stopped, thinking to himself.  
  
"All these years what?" Sirius asked, forcing himself to look at James.  
  
"I just find it funny that I had found the person who I was meant to be with 7 years ago, and I had been chasing Lily, without knowing who I was really meant to be with."  
  
Sirius' heart skipped a beat. He had been chasing Lily because he had liked someone else?  
  
That didn't make sense though. If he found the person he was meant to be with 7 years ago, then why didn't James make a move?  
  
He was good at making moves, and Sirius thought that he would have made his move.  
  
"I thought that the person I was meant to be with all this time was out of my league. I thought I should go for someone more...attainable...come to find that I was wrong.  
  
She was never attainable in the first place. Now I know who I'm really supposed to be with." James said as if he was reading Sirius' mind.  
  
"A-An-And who might that be?  
  
"Someone I was foolish enough not to notice before. I was only chasing Lily because I thought that you were out of my league."  
  
"Repeat that," Sirius said, not catching what James had said. He thought James had just sad "you."  
  
"I don't need repeat it. You heard me just fine. Yes, I did say you. I know now that you were the one I was supposed to be with all along.  
  
I thought that you were out of my league so I was chasing Lily, though I didn't like her. I didn't think I had a chance with you."  
  
Sirius looked up at James, his face wet with fresh new tears that had been falling.  
  
"Could this be true? Could James really love ME?!"  
  
"Yes Sirius, I have come to my senses, and I know now that you're the one I was supposed to be with all along. I do love you, and yes it is true."  
  
"James? Are you sure? That you LOVE ME?"  
  
James gave a laugh at his friend's surprised face and tone of voice.  
  
"Didn't think it could have happened did you Sirius?"  
  
"N-No, I didn't."  
  
"To tell you the truth, I didn't think it could either, but now that it did, I'm glad it has."  
  
"So am I," Sirius looked at James with a calm loving face.  
  
James walked over, for now Sirius could not stop crying.  
  
James kneeled before Sirius and raised his hand, and wiped away the tears from Sirius eyes.  
  
Sirius gave a faint smile, and snuggled his head into James' hand, enjoying the safety and comfort that James' hand had held.  
  
James stood up, and offered his hand to Sirius. Sirius took James' hand and stood up as well.  
  
They were both standing up now, and they were still holding hands.  
  
James pulled Sirius closer, so that their faces were less than an inch apart.  
  
"I've loved you forever, thought it seems like longer. I never thought this could happen.  
  
James was whispering. Now that he found Sirius, he was never going to let him go.  
  
James' lips brushed Sirius neck, and he whispered "I love you" and it tickled Sirius neck.  
  
Sirius gave a small laugh, and whispered "I love you back."  
  
James picked his head up, and looked Sirius in the eyes.  
  
Sirius' stomach now had butterflies in it.  
  
James took his hand and put it softly on Sirius cheek.  
  
Sirius closed his eyes, and when he did James leaned in closer and captured Sirius' mouth in a captivating kiss.  
  
So many thoughts swam through Sirius' mind. He thought of how much he loved James, how much he liked this, and how he never wanted to let him go, and how he never wanted this to end.  
  
Sirius kissed James back, and the kiss deepened. Slowly but surely the kiss became more passionate, and James had forced Sirius on to the near by couch.  
  
They were caught up in each other, enjoying each other's company and more.  
  
They were kissing, when Lupin walked into the Common Room.  
  
He figured that since he hadn't heard from either of them for hours, he would just check on them to make sure that they were both still alive.  
  
He walked over to the couch and saw Sirius and James. Lupin tiptoed so as not to disturb the now involved couple.  
  
Lupin made his way to the guy's dormitories, and lay down on his bed. He thought about what he just saw, and he was happy to know that he was the one who made it happen between those two.  
  
He was happy that they both loved each other. It was something he always knew would happen, he just didn't know when.  
  
Sirius looked at the clock, it was 5:15.  
  
He lay his head on the pillow and fell asleep right there.  
  
Lupin woke up with a start. He checked the clock it was now 7:30. He had been asleep for a long time.  
  
He walked down to the Common Room, to find that Sirius and James became tired, and were now sleeping soundly in each others arms.  
  
No one was in the Common Room yet. It was still way too early. They would be there in about an hour.  
  
He decided that he would wake them up and ask them how their "talk" went.  
  
"Sirius-James," Lupin said, and James opened a weary eye, and eyed Lupin.  
  
"Hey sleepy-head," Lupin said.  
  
"Hahaha, very funny," James replied.  
  
He tried to get off the couch, so as not to disturb sirius who obviously hadn't heard Lupin's wake up call.  
  
He maneuvered his way off the couch and sat down beside his friend.  
  
"So how did the talk with Sirius go?"  
  
"Need you ask? I know you saw us on the couch. I'm not that thick, not yet at least."  
  
"Okay, okay, you caught me. I didn't know if you two were still alive so I snuck in here to see how you two were doing, and I saw you guys on the couch.  
  
I figured that you didn't need me anymore, so I went downstairs and I took a nap. I woke up and I came down here to check on you two, and I found the both of you asleep in each other's arms.  
  
That's when I decided to wake you up. Only you were the only one who managed to hear me."  
  
"I see..." James said, and he gave Lupin a fake punch on the arm.  
  
"Ow that hurt!!" Lupin faked his pain.  
  
"I see the both of you don't need my encouragement anymore."  
  
"Thank you Lupin. I know that you forced Sirius to talk to me, and if you hadn't...who knows? I still might be chasing after Lily, even though I never really liked her."  
  
"I knew that this was going to happen eventually. I guess I got sick of waiting, and I decided that I had to take matters into my own hands and make it happen.  
  
I guess I did make it happen though. I'm happy for you two."  
  
"Thanks Lupin, that really means a lot. You know that you'll always be my best friend, and that I'll always be here for you whenever you need me."  
  
"I know James. I know."  
  
"It's getting late, the rest of Gryffindor house will be coming back into the Common Room soon. We should get to bed."  
  
"Good idea, Lupin." James said, and walked over to Sirius who was lying on his back with his arms folded across his chest, still sound asleep.  
  
"I love you," James whispered to Sirius and leaned down and kissed his forehead. He stood up, looked at Sirius and said "I will always love you."  
  
And he looked at Lupin, who was whistling waiting for James to get done saying goodnight to his new found love.  
  
James walked over to Lupin and they both made their way to the dormitories downstairs.  
  
They weren't worried about Sirius, he would wake up sooner or later. If he didn't, they could always put make up on him and play a prank on him.  
  
They thought that that might wake him up.  
  
They were thinking the same thing at the same time, and they both muffled quiet fits of laughter, before they were told to go to bed.  
  
"Thank you Lupin, you really don't know how much this means to me."  
  
"Don't worry about it James. I'm just glad you guys caught on, and made it happen."  
  
James smiled and Lupin smiled back at him.  
  
"We'll talk more in the morning. Right now I'm kind of tired," James said.  
  
"I'm sure that you're tired dear friend, I'm sure you are."  
  
He looked over at James, and winked at him. James just said "Hmph," rolled over and went to bed with thoughts of Sirius running through his head. 


End file.
